The Story of My Little Babe.

This morning I'm sitting alone in my quiet house, watching my dog while she sleeps on the living room floor. I'm crying my eyes out because she has no idea that her life is going to end in a few short hours. But I know it, and it's the worst feeling ever. I thought rather than sit here and do nothing, I would take a few minutes to reflect on her life and tell her story.

We got Babe sixteen and a half years ago, and a few weeks after Dacquiri, our first American Eskimo, had to be put to sleep. My brother and I came home from school one day (I was ten years old, he was six) to find everyone sitting in the family room, and an eight week old, tiny white fluff moving around under the chair my Grandma Aiti was sitting in. My parents had gotten Babe from a breeder and surprised us with her.

Babe has been through a lot in her life. Because of my parents divorce and my dad working nights, and moving to a dog UNfriendly neighborhood, my dad ended up giving Babe to Betty Williams, a lady who lived across the street from my other Grandma in Taylor. I was devastated about it but we were able to visit her anytime we went to visit my grandma. Also, when my brother and I stayed with my mom on weekends, we would always stop by and pet her for a few minutes. I even got to live across the street from Babe for the year that I went to college at U of M Dearborn and lived with my Grandma. Betty adored Babe and treated her like a Queen and I was happy about that.

Unfortunately, Betty passed away of cancer about 6 or 7 years later. I was in college at Western at the time, and I found out that her children then took Babe, about ten years old then, up north to live. That was really hard for me and my mom - it was like losing her again, because this time we knew we probably wouldn't ever see her again.

In January of 2006, after I had graduated from Western and had been working at DTA for a year, I had decided to buy my house in Ferndale and would be closing on it in two weeks. My grandma, who had a gift for knowing what was going on with anyone at anytime, found out that the family who had Babe up north was looking to give her away again, because they had much larger dogs who were being too rough with her. I remember contemplating it for all of five minutes before I asked my grandma to help me get her back. So she did just that, while I closed on my house and moved in at the end of January, and three days before Valentines Day, the family drove Babe down to me so I could pick her up.

We all met at a house in Taylor and seeing Babe again was like overwhelming happiness. She remembered me too, and started jumping up and licking my face. I took her leash and we walked out to my car and she jumped right in, as if to say 'ok let's go home!' So we went home and she adjusted well to her new home in Ferndale and to her little brother, Calvin.

I did all this in secret and set up a whole secret plan to surprise my mom with Babe. My mom, being a flight attendant, was out of town while all this was going on, but came home the night of Valentines Day. I had been asking her for a few days prior to come over the night of Valentines Day, because I had a surprise for her. She was skeptical about coming over at 11:00 PM and kept making guesses as to what I had that was so important but had no idea how cool my surprise actually would be.

Finally my mom had finished with her trip and made it to my house. It was snowing, Leah was over, and I could barely stand how excited I was for my mom to arrive. She pulled in the driveway, walked up to my deck still in her uniform, and I was standing with Babe at the back door waiting for her. I'll never ever forget the next five minutes after that. My mom stared blankly at Babe sitting at the door, realized it was her, looked at me in shock, looked at Babe again while I let her outside and said "I got her back for us mom," and she dropped to her knees and cried while Babe jumped up and down and barked and licked her face. From that night on, Babe was back in our lives again.

I knew back then that today would be one of the hardest days of my life and I always dreaded it. It certainly is proving itself to be every bit as difficult as I imagined. But I also am so very thankful that after going to four different homes in her short life, Babe got to spend the remainder of her time with me. No dog should ever have to go to more than one family and it breaks my heart that she had to go through that. But I hope that what she remembers most is her time with me. If anyone reads this and has a dog of their own, give them an extra kiss on the head today in honor of my little Babe.

Real Detroit Horoscopes

Just a quick little entry to refresh my mind after four straight hours of studying chemistry tonight (so far)...

I just checked my horoscope in the newest Real Detroit paper and I loved it. It's right on, as always. Here it is:

What an amazing time. So many things have come to roost. If you're not reaping a tremendous amount of love and reward, you're feeling fulfilled by simpler things. Those of you who can relate to this know that you've come full circle and are now getting ready to settle into something that really gets your heart going. If you've been spending more time being amazed by the beauty of life than you've spent wondering what it's all for, you know that something truly miraculous is happening right now. In so many ways, you've never been happier.

Amen to that. :)

A typical JQ morning.

Today's blog is going to tell a story about a typical scatterbrained JQ moment.

So I went to Oakland Community College in Waterford at 8AM this morning to meet with an advisor, and I got there 30 minutes early so I sat in a seat outside of the advising office until they opened. The advisor and I met for maybe 15 minutes, and I walked all the way out to my vehicle (ten minute walk) only to find out that I didn't have my car keys. So I didn't panic, I searched my car thoroughly and I didn't find them. So, I walked all the way back to the advising office and I asked my advisor if I dropped them in her office. She said no, so I went back out to my car and check again and no luck. So I started crying at this point and I walked back to the advising office and started asking the other offices if they had them, and no luck there. The receptionist called public safety and nobody had turned them in. So, I'm crying and the entire advising office gets up and starts helping me look around for them and they were nowhere. They called public safety again and nothing. So, the receptionist walked back with me to my car again to look around and we didn't find them. We walked back to the advising office and I started making plans to have people come get me and take me home to get my spare key, and once we went back in the advising office the other receptionist was jingling my keys. I left them on the chair that I was sitting in before I had my meeting and someone picked them up and turned them in an hour later. After a morning like that I stopped at Starbucks and got a huge sugar free soy vanilla latte on my way to work to make it better.

Starting Over.

My last blog (way too long ago) was a quote by Anais Nin that I love. It's all about how we grow up unevenly, and how past experiences, moments in the present, and dreams for the future swirl around us and guide us through life. Life is definitely swirling around me right now. Although I think I have grown tremendously over the last few years, I'm scared that I'll simply keep moving forward, ignoring what my heart, my past experiences, present moments, and future dreams tell me because its easier to do that, and before I know it I've missed out on some things that I really want for myself.

There are a few exceptions, but I'm pretty happy with my life right now. I have much to be thankful for and I have a network of friends whom I consider to be the most wonderful people I've ever met. Every day has become a new, unique adventure. Every day I meet new people. Every day turns into another fun story to tell.

That part of my life is perfect. But in other parts, I think I've reached some sort of fork in my road. The swirls around me are telling me to not let the grass grow under my feet (which is another really great quote.) There are things I want for myself that I let fall through the cracks. I know what my goals are and what I am capable of and it's either get busy and start achieving them, or let fear or lack of confidence win. I guess this blog entry is really a vow to myself to stop ignoring all the swirls, and start focusing on them.

This is all I have for now but I really like it.

"We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one direction and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations." Anais Nin

The Happy Danes

Whenever I start to worry about the things that never seem to get any easier, I try to take a step back and recognize that I am not the only American who has these same concerns. There are so many people out there who have much greater obstacles than me, and I think about how I should stop for a minute and just be grateful for what I have. It helps, but it never stops those stressful thoughts from coming back to haunt me later.

It's pretty common knowledge that the Danish rank as the happiest population on the planet, year after year. I was thinking about that today for a minute and about how stressed out and miserable the majority of the American population is. I wondered what the differences were between Americans and those Happy Danes and I decided to research it in case there was a lesson to be learned. I wondered if I could possibly benefit from adopting some of their opinions as my own?

There is an article on CBS.com on a study that was conducted about Denmark. The article points out that the common American perception about our lives is that more is always better. And really, that applies to pretty much everything you can think of - our money, the size of our homes, stuff we own, power, responsibility, clothes, a certain body type, vehicles, toys, investments, career ladders, personal goals, etc. Quite honestly, none of these things usually pan out the way the majority of us intend for them to. So we spend our entire lives ignoring the good things while we are trying to achieve more, and worrying about why we can't ever keep up or get enough. In addition, when we don't achieve a particular goal, we are devastated, we feel as though we failed, and we negatively compare ourselves to our colleagues and peers.

I'll throw myself into that mix. Throughout high school, my highest ambitions were to achieve a college degree, get a job that I loved, drive an SUV, own a home, have pets, and spend my spare time doing fun things with my friends. It's interesting that I have already achieved every single one of those things. But now I feel lazy because I don't have a masters degree. I'm embarrassed that I don't make as much money as my friends. I need a new car, my house is too small, and I feel jealous because money prevents me from doing as many fun things as my friends do. At this rate, my attitude will prevent me from ever feeling content with my life or truly appreciating what I have achieved. Nothing will ever be good enough.

The Danish don't have this view about life at all. A successful Danish person characterized as one who is consistently happy, who values and spends time with their family, one who isn't a work-a-holic, one who is passionate about non-materialistic things, and one who may not make a great deal of money but loves to get up and go to work each day. Danes don't make unrealistic expectations about what their life should be; rather, they are happy with their lives as they are and appreciate each moment they are in. They don't set hardly achievable goals like Americans do, but instead they let life happen to them (it's going to anyway) and are overjoyed when the smallest good things happen to them. Most Americans overlook the small good things and even turn good things that happen to us into stress.

In Denmark you also would never find the kind of crime, greed, and corruption that we see plastered all over our news stations on a daily basis. Wouldn't it be cool if America was a nation where there was no need to take something that belonged to someone else for another person's personal gain?

Anyway, just something that made an impact on my day today. I'm not anywhere near able to purchase a new SUV right now... do I really need to gaze longingly at the brand new vehicles on TV and then feel bad about myself for an hour because I can't have one? Why not focus my energies on something that will make my day a little better? Definitely something to think about.

Welcome to My Blog.

As some of you know, I've wanted to start a blog for over a year. Here I am, finally writing my first entry. It took this long because I never knew what would interest someone else enough to read my blog - but I had an interesting epiphany today that inspired me to actually sit down and get started.

I was at Sneakers Pub last night talking to my friend Steven. I started talking about this lunch meeting that I had on Friday with a photographer named Jim that my company uses (check out http://www.haefnerphoto.com/, his work is incredible). I mentioned to Steven that every time I get an opportunity to work with Jim, I feel like I get to take home a treasure box full of new information, because he is one of those people who are very passionate about sharing the interesting things he knows.

People like Jim, who have been everywhere and are naturally eager to share interesting facts about art and photography, good business practices, different cultures, and places others may never get to visit, are so valuable in our lives. After our lunch I thought to myself, I can only hope that someday I will acquire experience and knowledge that I can share with someone and be able to inspire them in a similar way.

Today I was reading the paper at Starbucks and absorbing information and I started thinking about how important it is to read the paper and stay in touch with the happenings around me. Somewhere in that train of thought, I came to the conclusion that although I may not have as much life experience and knowledge as my colleague Jim, I still go to sleep each night with something new that I did not have when I woke up that morning, because we all truly do learn something new every day.

I also realized that I sometimes take this for granted by not even recognizing that I learned anything at all. So I thought, why not create my blog as a reflection of that one important thing that I learn each day, and also have the opportunity to pass along that thing to others?

I think it would be awesome too if anyone who reads my blog would comment back and share the one important thing they learned too. If this became an interactive blog, we could all be that much more knowledgeable about the world. :)

So, what did I learn today? Some great statistics about the city I live in. I was very interested to read in the Detroit Free Press that the economy in downtown Ferndale is literally booming. I had no idea that my city acquired 26 new businesses and created 290 new jobs in 2008. Public and private investments into downtown Ferndale also rose last year, by 300 percent! It was really nice to read a story about success while we're all being suffocated by the gloom and doom that's everywhere around us - and I thought I would share.